I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
