I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think your dad took our porno
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
