**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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