shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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