so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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