you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
