Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
