he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
