90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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