can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
