He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
