Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just made my gag reflex go away.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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