And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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