Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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