My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
