My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm too high and old for this...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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