My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
