I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
