Pants 0. Shit 1.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we're so committed to being not committed
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