I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
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