So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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