if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
