chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
