Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
