love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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