Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
