Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
