So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have fence marks all over my body
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
