Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
