I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
