i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
