your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
