I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
