I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
