I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
