when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
