he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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