I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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