He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
