Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
