I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
