just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
