A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
