he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
