I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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