Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
