All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
