Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
