you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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