I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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