I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
