I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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