i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
